Here’s Some Shoes

I had to tell you I think this is the funniest thing you have ever done or said. You, who are usually funny.

Not long after you rescued Vicki, she tried to pay you in the only coin of her realm that she possessed. It was a gift that she expected to mean a lot to you but, obviously, it was not something you could accept.

You, who are rarely befuddled, were lost without words when she got so mad at you when you turned her down. For weeks, she wouldn’t speak to you. Each time she saw you, she would stick her cute little nose in the air and stomp out of the room.

You knew how vain she was and did understand, but short of making the ultimate sacrifice, you couldn’t figure out how to make it up to her.

One night, I said she was coming over and you had a dreadful look in your eye. We had just been talking about her and about how much money she spent on shoes and that it was the reason she was always broke. You and I had joked about all her shoes in the past for it was hard to ignore.

You were quiet for a minute, then you said you’d be back and left.

By the time you got back, she had arrived and had filled me in on the adventures of her day. All of her days were adventurous.

When you walked through the door, you went right up to her and thrust out a package. “I’m sorry. Here’s some shoes” you said.

I thought I was going to die. I wanted to laugh so badly but I knew I’d be on her crap list if I did. And you, you had that kind of silly look on your face like you knew what you had to do but didn’t really know how to act. It was so funny. It was also funny that it worked.

She ripped open the package and squealed with joy at the beautiful red shoes you had bought for her. Then she hugged you and all was well again.

I don’t know how you and I held it together until she left. As soon as the door closed, we nearly fell to the floor with laughter.

After that, anytime you and I had a spat, either of us could bring it back to smiles by just saying that line, “I’m sorry. Here’s some shoes.”

Good memories on this cold damn night.

Is it cold there? Is it night?

If it is, go outside for a minute and look up at the sky. See if you can find the star I just wished upon. Go on and try. It will be the one winking at you and it will send my love.