Find That Girl

(Excerpt from a longer letter from an old friend of Jane’s who lived in Casa Grande, Arizona and through the years also became a good friend of mine).

. . .

Jane spent the night with us two days ago. She just showed up at the door early one morning.

I don’t know what is going on but I do know she is a wreck. She has a great act and, if I didn’t know her as well as I do, I might be fooled but I can read between the lines. She smiles far too fast like she flicked a switch and the smile comes on. Then, just as quick, it’s gone. When we talk, she has to turn her head now and then when the glint of tears start to show.

When I asked how she’s doing or if she’s okay, she kept saying “I’m okay. I’m okay”. I asked about the two of you and she said that you and she were fine but that she wasn’t ready to talk about that yet. I didn’t press for I know that would not work with her. Later we were talking about something the two of you had done a couple of years ago and she looked off in the distance and said “I had to leave. I am so broken. He gives me his joy and I know he doesn’t leave enough for himself.” I tried to get her to talk more but she wouldn’t. She did say later that you didn’t know where she was because she was afraid that if you did, you would come find her. She said if that happened, she knew she would go back home but that would be so wrong for you. Her sadness would keep you from the happiness you deserve. That’s all I could get her to say other than to keep saying “I’m okay. I’m okay.”

She’s not okay, Michael. As I said, she can’t fool me. I held her too many times when she was broken. We shared too many tears years ago when she went through that hell. I never thought she would be okay again, no matter how she smiled at the world and pretended she was fine. All of us were so happy when she found you. From what I’ve learned about you, I know you really needed her–maybe as much as she needed you. You are so good together and it was obvious to everyone who saw the two of you. When I think of you and her, I see you holding hands. I don’t know if I ever saw you together that you weren’t holding hands or shoulder to shoulder. You are so cute together.

When she left, she wouldn’t say where she was going. She just said she wasn’t sure yet. She said she was just enjoying wandering around for now.

I don’t know what is happening with you two, but I do know you need to find that girl. Find my sweet friend and take her home where she needs to be.

Lonnie